U.S. film director Woody Allen
stands beside a statue of himself in
Oviedo, Spain Saturday May 14, 2005
during a visit to the city.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that
he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is
that basically he's an underachiever.
My parents were very old world. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's so hard to find your way around Chinatown.
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
I do not believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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